Her
by ToReachYou
Summary: Lucy feels she is a replacement now that Lisana is back, and Lisana wants her spot in Natsu's team to be returned to her! Lucy thinks Natsu never cared, making Natsu lose himself... Will Natsu be able to make Lucy understand, or will she refuse to listen to him? OneShot!


**So I thought of this while watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S on my laptop, I bloody love that show, even though it's American. It was 12 in the morning, I was eating my Asian food that I don't know the name of and then BAM. I got the idea. So I wrote it on some sketch paper because I'm to frightened of my basement where the post paper is. I am also to weird for lined paper. (Lie, I just don't have any.)**

**Moving stinks. )x Now I have go to a different High School without stepping a foot in the one I was gonna go to. UGH. Now Holiday can wait to end, I don't wanna go.**

**This took 2 mornings and 2 evenings to write! Not too long? I think it is. -.-" But worth it. :3**

**OMG my Google Chrome© theme is Fairy Tail. Gosh I love chrome. C:  
Granola Bars are my brain food. **

**&  
Enjoy!**

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She was clingy. So very, very clingy. I guess she had a right to be, considering she hasn't been with me very long; she only just got back last week. But even so, she was clingy. Jobs almost everyday with only me and Happy? Taking Lucy's place in the group while she '_trained_'? I didn't like it. But I agreed; I told Lucy myself that I wanted her out for a bit. But that's not really what I wanted, I would never want Lucy out of the group, even for a second. So why? Because I'm not a type of person to let anyone down. I couldn't let her down when she just got back.

Lisana.

I was so unbelievably happy when I saw her back in Edolas.

I was so undeniably glad that she came to Earthland.

And when she came back to Fairy Tail, I was so overjoyed.

Then she offered to come on jobs with me, Erza, Gray and Happy. I was so excited.

Until I saw Lucy's face.

If I couldn't let anyone down.. why did I? I let Lucy down. Down to the lowest of lows.

She wore a smile, yes, but it was like make-up. So fake, so transparent. I could easily see it in her eyes, just like I do everything else. It was sorrow, neglect almost. Like she was a puppy and I was abandoning her on the side of the road in the pouring rain, leaving nothing, not even an umbrella. There was slight envy, but above all: Hurt. I hated seeing any of that in her beautiful chocolate eyes. Every time I did, I would do anything to make it all go away, bring sunshine back into her storming heart. And I always succeeded, no matter what it was.

Like the time on Tenrou Island, when she cried her heart out, told herself over and over it was all over; there was nothing left. All the hope gone from her eyes, replacing itself with tears and fear. I couldn't bare hearing those words escape her lips, I wanted her to believe. I grabbed her hand, clutched it like it was the last thing holding me to this Earth, like it was unbreakable. I told her it would be okay, that it's not over, it wouldn't end here. And she believed me, every word. Even though I _wasn't_ sure it would all be okay, I _hardly_ believed we would make it through alive; she did. And I watched as the hope climbed it's way back into her eyes.

Or when she found out her Father had died, right after she returned from the 7 year time-skip. Even though she felt sad and lonely, she was unable to cry over the loss of her father. She said she probably never loved her Father. But I disagreed. Tears and her Fathers death weren't related at all, they mean nothing. They're just tears. But even though she didn't shed them, I knew how torn up she was that her father was dead, and I did what I could to comfort her, as always. But what can I do now, now that I am the one who tore her apart inside?

I bounced up to her, ready to tell her the news of Lisana wanting to join our group, her idea of Lucy going to train while she takes her place while she's away. Part of me hoped she would take it well, not be upset but be excited at the chance to train and get stronger. But another part of me knew she wouldn't, and that part was right.

I could hear her muffled sobs through her door. I knew her face was being smothered in a pillow, like she always does when she cries terribly like this. But I was the one to comfort her at times like those, I would rub her back and hold her close until she stopped crying. I wished I could do that now, but I couldn't. Instead, I was outside her door, sitting against it, knowing very well she wouldn't let me in. She didn't know I was here, though, and I was glad. I was sure she would probably yell at me or throw things at the door or something if she did know. Every sob I heard was like a stab in the heart, every sniffle adding to my guilt. I felt so terrible, telling her one of her worst nightmares like that, bluntly, like it didn't matter, right in her face. It had looked like she was choking on my words, she didn't say anything for some time and I could just see how tense she had gotten. I could smell the anger and hurt coming off of her, so strong like she sprayed it on herself like perfume in the morning instead of the wonderful smelling vanilla fragrance she usually wears. Her knuckles were white from her holding onto the hem of her skirt like what I was saying wasn't real, that her skirt was her only link back to reality and she never wanted to let go and stay in this nightmare. But she had no choice, because this was the sad reality. I had actually said that to her, and she has to go through this because I am one hell of a dense idiot.

I heard her bed squeak underneath her movements. My stomach did a somersault. I heard her footsteps as they walked briskly towards the door, and I could feel the panic rising in my chest. Clambering to my feet, I was mid step when the door flew open to reveal a mess of a Lucy Heartfilia. I turned slowly, an apologetic, "Please forgive me, I want to live" look made its way across my face. But when I looked her in the eye, the look faded and the guilt overcame me once again. Her tears hadn't ceased to fall, even though she wiped them so profusely she left red marks across both her cheeks. She stood there, glaring at me, as if waiting for some sort of explanation.

"H- How- How'd ya know I was ou- out here Luce?" A scratched my head, hoping I chose my words careful enough, giving her a unconvincing grin.

"Please.. someone... in the house over... could hear... your stupid sighing!" She started sobbing lightly again, talking between little hiccups and gasps for air.

_I was sighing?_ I was confused. How did I not realize I was doing something?

Lucy let out a frustrated grunt at my confused face and began slamming the door until I moved my foot in the way and grabbed onto it to keep it from closing completely. She didn't really seem to care, she just stormed her way into the bathroom and slammed _that_ door shut, clicking the lock before I could maneuver over to it. I heard her collapse onto the floor with a loud thump, a small bang adding to that after she harshly rested her head against the door. I slowly made my way to the bathroom and slid down to sit, myself. Back against the door, my knees supporting my elbows, I hid my mouth in the crook my crossed arms made. I let out a sigh, not knowing what to do now. She was still crying, the only thing hiding them was her knees and hands, but they weren't doing too good of a job. I felt terrible. Probably worse than Lucy was feeling. I wanted to talk, I just didn't know what to say. I heard her take a deep breath in, but I didn't expect what came after.

"I was a replacement."

I gritted my teeth.

_No._

"Wasn't I? You thought she died. You were probably so lonely. And then came me, so perfect, so like _her_. Right? So you made a group with me. You were so happy that you got your second Lisana."

I could feel the anger rising in my chest.

_No, it's not true. _

"But then she came back. She wasn't dead. And you don't need me anymore. She took her place back. I get it..."

Eyes hidden in my hair, I slowly turned around on my knees to face the door, fist clenched to the tightest extent, knuckles as pale as ever.

"...you probably never liked me in the first place, you made me feel this way and you never returned it. And then this happens and I'm so surprised but.. but I don't see why! I feel like such an-"

I punched the door with all of my fury, all of my confusion and guilt. It left a crack, a long one. It made my knuckles purple. It scared the shit out of Lucy. But I didn't care. I needed to hit something or I'd snap and set everything on fire. So I slammed my fist on the door, over and over, yelling out every curse word I knew; cursing myself for letting those thoughts ever cloud Lucy's head, for ever making her believe that. I probably sounded insane, but I didn't care. Hearing those words come out of Lucy's mouth made me so beyond angry, so unbelievably guilty. I took in deep breaths, calming myself so that I wouldn't do it again and break through her door.

"What the hel-!" She was screaming, but I cut her off.

"That's all just a load of shit! None of it's true, Luce! NONE!" My voice was tired and cracking, but it didn't stop me. She had to know.

"You weren't a replacement! You never were! I made a team with you because I thought you were cool, and pretty, and strong, and you'd be an awesome partner! And it was true, you are all of those things! I would never make a group with anyone just because they looked like her, I wouldn't care! I made a team with_ you_, because _you're_ _you_, Lucy! You're my nakama, and I can't stand seeing you like this..."

My head and fist were against the door, and I was breathing hard, keeping myself calm. There were multiple long cracks in her bathroom door now, branching off randomly from underneath my fist. I could here her uneven breathing through the door, she sounded a little scared and she was crying still. My fist slid down to my side, getting a few splinters in my fingers from the scarred and chipped wood. I left my head rested against the door, giving up. I believed she would forever be mad at me, no matter what I did. I heard her shuffling around in the bathroom, the smack of feet against tile and the knob of the door turning. Looking tired and ashamed but still very angry, I rose my head up to look at Lucy when she finally threw open the door.

Her hand hit my face with a loud smack, leaving a red hand mark on my face that was now turned away from her. _I deserved that_.

She let out a confused sigh, looking up at the heavens as if asking them why the hell any of this had happened. Out of no where she let out a loud, frustrated scream and dropped to her knees in front of me with a loud thump and started to sob again. She reached out, grabbing my scarf and pulling me closer to her, forcing me to collide with her shoulder. She threw her arms around my chest, clutching tightly onto my shirt. She buried her face into my neck, crying aloud, her tired, angry yells muffled into my scarf. And all I could do is sit there with this sobbing girl, soaking my scarf and shoulder while I sit here like a dumbfounded idiot.

"You're such a fucking _idiot_!" She yelled into my shoulder.

_I know._ I wanted to say that. But it wouldn't make her feel any better.

I wanted to grab onto her, embrace her so tightly and never let go. But I couldn't, I didn't deserve to, considering the hell I'd put her through with just a few simple words.

I wanted to say something, but I was at a loss for words. I didn't know why she opened the door, why she was hugging me, or why she was crying into my shoulder. Isn't she supposed to be mad at me? Hate me?

So I let her cry into my shoulder and tug on my scarf until she was done. It took a while. She eventually stopped crying, her breathing finally even, her hands still clutched onto my back. Her face was hidden in my chest still, and I was _still_ sitting there like a dumbfounded idiot. Finally deciding I should do something, I moved my hands carefully up to her shoulders, gently pushing her backwards so I could face her. She let go of my shirt, her hands falling limp to the floor. When I was fully facing her, she refused to look at me. She looked at her legs bunched up between mine, her hair falling into her face, looking frail and duller than usual. I tilted my head slightly, trying to look up into her hair while looking down at her at the same time.

"Luce.." I searched her eyes for any hint of acknowledgment.

"Hey, Luce, look at me. Now." She looked into my eyes for a second, looking away short after. I moved my hands to the nape of her neck, holding her face in my hands softly, moving her head to face me.

_Maybe I should tell her.._

She looked up at me, sorrow still so obvious in her gaze. Guilt gnawed away at my insides second by second as her chocolate orbs looked up into my onyx ones.

"She's clingy. So very, very clingy. I guess she has a right to be, considering she hasn't been with me very long; she only just got back last week. But even so, she's clingy. Jobs almost everyday with only me and Happy? Taking your place in the group while you '_trained_'? I don't like it. But I agreed; I told you myself that I wanted you out for a bit. But that's not really what I wanted, I would never want you out of the group, even for a second. So why? Because I'm not a type of person to let anyone down. I couldn't let her down when she just got back. I am _so _sorry. Believe me, Lucy. I am so, so, SO sorry. You were never, ever a replacement for Lisana, don't think that, please. You thinking that you're not important to me simply kills me. I made a group with you because as soon as I rescued you on the cruise ship, protected you from those sick slave traders... I knew I wanted to do that for the rest of my life. Protect you. Keep you happy. I hate when you're upset, especially when it's my fault. But, if I can't let anyone down.. why did I? I let you down. Down to the lowest of lows. And I feel so guilty for it, Luce. I'm so sorry." She still didn't look very happy. I searched her eyes again, finding sadness again, and still anger. Discouraging.

"Why?" She asked, surprising me.

"Why, what?"

"Why do you wanna do all that? It is your fault, Natsu! All your fault! You acted like it didn't matter, like it wouldn't hurt me at all! And it did, terribly! So why!" She yelled, pulling my hands off of her face.

_Why? She's seriously asking why? Do I have to paint her a picture for her to get it, or am I not making it simple enough? _

Growing frustrated, I brought my hands back up to her face, I brought her closer, the tips of our noses were almost brushing together. I looked into her eyes and found absolute shock.. but also a hint of embarrassment and happiness.

Before she could try and retaliate I shoved my mouth onto hers roughly but with a gentleness I never knew I possessed. She closed her eyes slowly, accepting the kiss, making it deeper by leaning in. I swiped her bottom lip for permission and she quickly granted it, slightly parting her lips. I pushed my tongue in, exploring her mouth, tasting every part, every wonderfully enticing part. I brought my hand to her lower back, bringing her closer to my body and letting her feel all my warmth. She raised her hands to my hair, running them through it. Suddenly feeling her tongue brush mine, we wrestled for a little until we ran out of breath and parted for a bit, until going back in for seconds. We repeated this over and over until I leaned back onto the rug, breaking the kiss, her resting on top of me breathing heavily.

"Natsu..." She sounded tired, but quite happy.

When I finally collected my breath, I sat up and leaned against her bed post, pulling her into my lap and grabbing her hands while I hid my face in her hair, breathing in its scent of lavender shampoo.

"That's why."

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**OOCness? Maybe. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this little NaLu one-shot, it took me a while to write. It's 5 Pages. 5! Well 4 and three quarters... oh well. First super romantic writing experience, first kiss scene actually, I only knew the basics of writing one from the ones I've read, so it sounds kind of awkward... hope its alright. :P**

**I had no idea how the hell to end this, really it took 2 days to find something, and eh, I'm pretty happy with it. But it seems like it could be kinda confusing.. if it is just tell me I guess :P I hope it's not.. D: But don't ask me how it went from situation to situation.. IT. JUST. DID. Me the Author. You no Author. :3**

**Anyways, R&R please and thank you luffs!  
I woke up at 6, fell asleep again till 8, traveled downstairs to the couch, fell asleep until 9:50, munched a granola bar and now I'm wide awake. WTF?**


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